Sunday, 27 June 2010

...Shares 5 Tips For Anger Management.

We all experience anger at some stage in our lives. Maybe it's even a daily occurrence for you. Either way, you've searched for this article because you want to learn how to control your anger. The anger management techniques I'm going to share with you really do work! Like you, I'm an ordinary person who just wanted to get a handle on things and not feel angry all the time. I'm not a psychologist, I'm in fact a lawyer, and in my lifetime I've had many difficult life experiences that have generated varying degrees of anger. Now I'm focused on getting to my happy place, just like millions of fellow human beings. 

So here goes:

1. WALK AWAY: This is one of the most powerful anger management techniques, and it does work. I'd also recommend that before you walk away, you tell the other person/people that you need to leave the room to calm down and you will be back to discuss the matter calmly. In doing this, your departure is not abrupt and won't create a new cause of tension.

2. TAKE A FEW DEEP BREATHS: There must be a biological reason why this works, because it really does. In yoga and meditation, breathing is used to co-ordinate the flow of energy and create a feeling of calm. Also taking deep breaths allows you to take more oxygen in this stimulates brain activity. In other words, it helps you to think straight.

3. BE AWARE OF THE WAY YOU SPEAK: All too often when we have completed steps 1 & 2, we immediately negate the beneficial effects of those two steps by telling ourselves things like " I'm so LIVID!" or "I'm STUNNED at what s/he just said!". This type of language will keep us trapped in the web of anger. The internal language we use is so crucial in anger management, and if we deliberately choose words that are going to calm us down then the benefits will be enormous. Instead try saying "I'm proud that I left the room, because now I know things will start to calm down." Or you could try saying "This too will pass", while you take your deep breaths.

4. KNOW THAT ANGER IS A MASK: Anger does not stand alone as an emotion, and anger management techniques are only one part of the solution. Anger is often a mask for unexpressed or suppressed fear, hurt, unhappiness or pain. Ask yourself why the situation you're in has created the angry reaction? What pain are you hiding? Is there an unmet need that you are afraid to express for fear of rejection? Identify what has caused the anger and you will then be able to deal with the root of the issue.

5. SAY "THIS TOO WILL PASS": This is a powerful anger management technique and it allows you to get past the immediate anger and look forward to a happier future. 

So there you have my 5 easy anger management techniques. I believe the purpose of life is to experience all of life, not to get stuck in one moment of it. We cannot pick only positive, fun experiences to have in our lives, we must take the rough with the smooth. So when the not-so-positive comes along, you'll be able to apply these 5 techniques and look forward to focussing on the good experiences. I've also got this great anger management program which will help you even more. 

Sunday, 13 June 2010

...Meditates Her Cares Away!

I've been meditating for many years and I'd strongly recommend it, largely  because the benefits are so fantastic. 

At first I was a little bit reluctant to start because meditation just seemed terribly grown-up & complicated, so I put it off for a long time. But over the years I've devised a very simple method of meditating which cuts out the complications, and works for me,and now it's become one of the favourite parts of my day. 

Meditation leaves me feeling relaxed, balanced and centred, and able to cope with life's daily trials. So this is how I do it:

1. STEP ONE: Sit or lie down with your eyes closed in a comfortable place where you won't be disturbed. Turn off your phone, television and computer if possible. I usually meditate at the end of my day just before I go to sleep to ensure that I won't be disturbed. I start my meditation by mentally going through my day, and giving thanks for the blessings of my day and the opportunities that have come to me that day. Being grateful puts me in a receiving frame of mind, which is important as it allows a connection with the still, quiet spiritual voice within. Smile. Smiling is a fantastic way to begin your relaxation.

2. STEP TWO: When you are comfortable and relaxed, start to notice your breathing. Breathe in and out, counting on each exhale. Do this in batches of 20. When you get to 20, start again at 1. Do this as many times as you need to or want to. During this phase you may notice lots of thoughts popping into your head, and you may start to fidget. You may feel the urge to get up and check that you turned the iron off, or locked the front door, or even to check your bank accounts online. Don't worry if this happens. Just allow the thoughts to pop up, and let them pass. This is the mind resisting, because it wants to be in control. All you have to do is keep breathing gently and keep counting. If you lose count, it's ok -just start again from 1.

3. STEP THREE: By now you should be feeling relaxed, and calm. To start with you may not be able to meditate like this for longer than a few minutes, but with practise and discipline your meditation sessions will gradually get longer and longer. At this point, as you are lying with your eyes closed, you may wish to imagine a powerful shaft of white and gold light pouring into you through the top of your head, and spreading throughout your body, cleansing you as it flows through you, and out through your feet. As this light leaves your body through your feet, imagine that your worries, illnesses and negativities have been cleaned out and are leaving you permanently. Then the Universal Energy that surrounds all of us transmutes the negative energy back into positive energy, so that as you inhale, you breathe in positive, nourishing energy via the light that flows through you. 

4. STEP FOUR: If you fall asleep during your meditation, then that's fine. I find this is one of the best ways to fall asleep if I have a lot of tension or if I've had a particularly bad day, and upon awakening I always feel refreshed and relaxed. If you don't want to fall asleep, and instead wish to wake up after meditating, then do so slowly by gently moving your fingers and toes, but keep your eyes closed. Then make your breath a little deeper, and open your eyes. 

You should feel calm and centred and glowing with a sense of renewed purpose. Take that calmness with you into your day. If you want to take your relaxation further and explore it in more detail, then you will like this ultimate relaxation program. This stress busting program is great for anger management, relaxation, and shares 101 ways to live a stress free life. Who doesn't want that?

...Shares 5 Tips For A Happy Home.

We all want to be good parents, and we all want to have a happy family and harmony in our home life. When we have our children we want the best for them but we also want the parenting experience to be a fulfilling one for us. i believe that this can be achieved by making a few simple decisions with our partners from the start, perhaps even during the pregnancy. Doing this will set the tone for the parenting roles of Mum & Dad from day one. My aim here is to provide you with a few handy tips that will make the role of parenting an exciting one that fills you with enthusiasm and anticipation rather than with dread! These tips work with children of all ages, but they are best employed from an early age. 

1. RESPECT EACH OTHER. Our children's first classroom is the home. That is where they take their first lessons in life. If parents behave respectfully towards each other in the way they speak to each other behave to wards each other this gives children a fantastic start in so many ways. Not only do they feel happy and secure in themselves, growing up in a respectful household, but they will also learn the importance of respecting others. This is a life lesson that will stay with them throughout their lives. 

2. SET BOUNDARIES FOR YOUR CHILDREN. A child's natural instinct, whether they are 2 years old or 12 years old is to get what they want when they want it! They are not instinctively attuned towards delayed gratification. Whilst this is natural for them, it is a nightmare for parents! So if you put in a system of boundaries around controversial matters such as bedtime, acceptable behaviour at mealtimes, homework and study to name but a few, your child will benefit. If you do this when they are very young it removes the element of conflict and simply becomes a part of their normal daily routine.

3. STICK TO A ROUTINE WITH YOUNGSTERS. When children are young, they really benefit from having a daily routine that does not vary dramatically. This is important because it enhances their sense of security in their home life which is crucial. Additionally it allows them to grow and develop naturally without having the added concern of the scenery changing constantly at home, which can be a destabilising factor.

4. SUPPORT EACH OTHER It is vitally important that both of the parents buy into all decisions made around disciplining the children. If you do not do this then the children get mixed messages around what is expected of them behaviourally, and that confusion will lead to them misbehaving as a result. Make sure that you discuss any disciplinary measures together before imposing them on the children. 

5. EAT AT LEAST ONE MEAL EACH DAY TOGETHER AS A FAMILY. The hectic lifestyle of the average 21st century family can leave us with precious little time to relax together. This can lead to isolation from each other, and as our children grow up and develop interests outside the family home, with friends and school, the gap between parents and their children grows ever wider. This can be prevented if you make an effort to sit together for one meal, or more if that's possible, and eat together as a family. All the family will benefit, and most importantly one of the key positive effects for the children is a strong sense of belonging. Eating together around a table also encourages good table manners which they will take with them through life.

So there are my 5 simple steps to take the stress out of parenting. If you're feeling like you need a little more help lowering your stress levels, then try this relaxation program which might be just what you're looking for!

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

...Says A Little Prayer For You!

Today one of my very dear sweet friends was somewhat troubled, so I suggested that he say a prayer to help ease his burden. "Oh but I'm not really religious" he replied, immediately categorising the idea as untenable.

That made me think, is the concept of prayer exclusively owned by religion or can we all pray, even if we aren't religious? 

I'm not particularly religious, but I always pray. I regard prayer as asking for help. To me, a prayer is not about religion. Prayer is about needing help, asking for that help and then waiting patiently with the full knowledge and trust that your prayer has been heard and will be answered. 

Read that last sentence again and look at that little word "trust". How does that make you feel?  

Many times I've said a prayer and because the answer didn't come in my time frame, I assumed I would have to do the leg work and get the ball rolling. So instead of waiting patiently, trusting that my prayer had been answered, I took over. I didn't trust. And of course the result was that the answer either went unheard, because I was too busy, or it went by unnoticed because I had forgotten about my request.

That's a little bit like going out for a meal, giving the waiter your order and after waiting a few moments, giving up and going into the kitchen and cooking it myself, or standing over the chef while s/he cooks! Who does that? Nobody as far as I'm aware. So why do we do it with prayers? What drives us to feel we have to do it all? 

We don't have to do it all. Help is available. 

This is my recommendation on how to pray: say your prayer, be very specific about what you're asking for, and then let it go. Just speak using your normal language, and ask for what you need. Sometimes my prayer is just these three words "Please help me". And the help always comes.

Don't worry about being in a designated place of prayer, instead find that place within you where stillness sits. In my opinion, that's the best prayer house on this earth.

And please don't worry about what you're wearing or if your hair looks good. Just say a little prayer. Or a long prayer. It's up to you. Make your prayer personal to you. I don't believe we can influence others in our prayers, but we can seek to enhance our lives. So you can't pray for David Beckham or Kelly Brook to fall in love with you, but you can pray for a happy, healthy relationship with someone kind, compassionate and thoughtful (insert any words of your choice here!) who loves and respects you.

Next, please don't get upset if it doesn't happen straight away. That will only serve to diminish your trust. While you wait for your prayer to be answered, you must have trust that it's in the process of being delivered. 

Get excited that it's on it's way. Look forward happily to receiving your answer, and feel positively grateful that your prayer has been heard. Waiting with a heavy heart is so painful, but waiting in hopeful expectation is exhilarating and uplifting. 

I suggest that those are the very feelings we should to aim to cultivate in our lives, and if we imbue our prayers with those feelings, we'll see miracles happening every day all around us.

I don't know if my beautiful friend did say a prayer after all, but I said one asking for my heart to stay open and loving.