...Is Going On A Roadtrip!

Have you ever been told that life is a journey? Whether you’ve heard it before or not, and the chances are you have, I reckon we all reach that conclusion at one stage of our lives or another...well, most of us do at any rate! We’ve heard often enough that its not about the destination, its about the journey. Stop & smell the roses, it’s not a dress rehearsal etc etc etc. Ok...message received and understood. Life’s a journey.


But sometimes I look around and I wonder whose journey I’m on exactly.

At work we are required for the most part to observe and buy into our employers’ ethos, and even though there may be small degrees of parity on some levels, many of us have to leave our own ethics at the door as we enter our work places, and just bite our tongues to avoid getting so wound up & risk losing our jobs. Financial and economic dependency dictates these conditions. Many spouses can also feel similarly repressed if their partner is the main breadwinner, and communication between them both is a challenge. It is well documented that arguments about money are one of the key factors in soaring divorce rates. Interactions with friends, partners, preachers, teachers and family members and a whole gamut of others we meet along the way, also affect us during our journey.

Some of our interactions can leave us feeling obligated, depleted and empty while others revive us and nourish our souls.

Over time, regular exposure to a particular viewpoint will lead to that viewpoint being adopted as our own. It is said that we are a combination of the 5 people we spend most of our time with.

So that leaves me wondering, is it really my journey or a mish-mash of everyone else’s?

Is uniqueness and individuality merely a concept? We cannot (and indeed must not in my opinion) avoid other people in our lives. Human contact and interaction is essential. However it exposes us to a plethora of ideas, principles, moralities and standards, ranging from high to low and most things in-between. They are all going to influence our passage through this life to one extent or another. The intensity of the influence being even more marked when we are small children, totally vulnerable to the whims and fancies of the adults in our lives, no matter how headstrong the little one may be.

The result is the creation of a comfort zone. The safe, cosy place where we all sit, knowing that no matter what comes along, we are protected by the familiar and the known. But essentially nothing stays the same permanently and change is one of the features of this fragile life. Inevitably, there will come a time in everyone’s life when we have to leave our comfort zones and step out into the unfamiliar. This may be at the end of a relationship, the loss of a partner, upon leaving a job or when our children grow up.
These and other key events in life represent important turning points for us. Many people are fearful and regard change as a threat. I prefer to see change as an opportunity.

Part of the fear of change comes from having to step into our own energy and generate our own experiences instead of vicariously living through those who share our comfort zones. Following is often easier than leading.

We are however spiritual beings having human experiences, and the people who share our journey with us are here by our calling. None of us are followers and none of us are leaders. The experiences we have with our fellow human souls are purposefully and carefully designed to help our souls on our way and get us further along the road. The journey we have embarked upon isn’t about getting a better job or getting a bigger car/house/handbag. This journey we call life is the original & ultimate road-trip! It’s the road-trip that takes us back to a state of love and purity. This is the journet that takes us back home to our maker. I call him God, although you may have another name for the entity that created you and all living things.

The experiences and interactions we have on a daily basis, from the most insignificant to the really big smack-you-between-the-eyes events, all conspire to create what seems to be a mish-mash of a journey. However if we shift our perspective slightly and step away from the drama to observe, then we can start to watch the process unfolding. And it is truly magical. As observers we can draw upon the timeless wisdom of our souls, resulting in an enhanced power of discernment so that the fellow souls we call upon to walk through life with us will enhance our experience of life. The mish-mash is far more subtle and sophisticated than we realise.

So the next time someone irks you or makes you smile, don’t dwell too long on it and avoid getting caught up in the details of the event. Simply appreciate that you asked them to be present in your life at that precise time. They are here to bring you the answer to your soul’s calling. Say thank you graciously and with gratitude for the experience and then consider for a moment where that encounter fits in with your soul’s continuing progress on your personal road-trip. You have two choices: you can honour your soul’s purpose and move forward to the next enlightening meeting or you can remain stuck, feeling like you’re helpless and beholden.

What do you want to do?

...Finds Heaven On Earth!

To me marriage is one of the most sacred commitments two people will make in their lifetimes. The promises that we make on our wedding day to each other before God, our family and friends contain some of the most important words and intentions we will ever utter. 

But the wedding day itself is just the start. It can take months, even years to arrange a wedding, but planning for marriage often gets overlooked amid the activity of planning the wedding. The catering, the venue, the guest-list, the DJ, the favours, the cake, the dress, the suit, the pageboys, the bridesmaids, the cars.....the list goes on and on. The planning stage is phenomenally involved and time consuming. 

But I wonder how many betrothed couples take time to discuss their marriage? How many take time to talk about their future plans, their shared principles, their shared standards and, perhaps most importantly, how many have a discussion about those areas where they don't share a joint view? Those are the areas where inevitable compromises will have to be made to ensure a harmonious household. 

Why bother doing that? Well to me, it's because harmony in a marriage is crucial, and it's far better to have the discussions before the wedding rather than after the wedding. Just so that both of you know how the land lies. Whilst nobody can predict what's going to happen in a marriage, we must surely agree that a chat beforehand will allow the couple some valuable insight into how the land may lie during their marriage. 

Marriage is an unknown entity. Circumstances change, people change and sometimes personality traits are revealed that neither party could have foreseen. But maybe, just maybe if the discussion had taken place then they would have been prepared. 

An Apache blessing describes marriage in this way, "...Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth for the other. Now there is no more loneliness, for each of you will be companion for the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. Go now to your dwelling place to begin the days of your life together. May your days together be good and long upon the earth..." 

I see marriage as a lifelong journey that two people agree to take together, side by side, hand in hand, both moving forward in the same direction. The trials and tribulations of life may rock them or just gently sway them from time to time, but their overall intention is to maintain harmony in their sacred marriage. That is their overriding objective and they achieve this through constant and daily loving gestures towards each other. These small acts of love give physical expression to their profound love for each other. Theirs was a marriage of souls and hearts before it was ever a marriage on earth. Their sacred vows were sealed in their hearts before they were ever uttered out loud. Their capacity to love each other extends far beyond their regular beautiful kindnesses. The depth of their souls' original unity will evolve and it will be revealed to each of them as they journey together through the lifetime of their marriage. The revelation will take place over the days, weeks, months and years of their marriage and throughout their devotion to each other will grow. Gradually the true shape of their divine connection takes shape and will be reshaped by the many intricacies that life will throw their way. 

They will experience everything in life separately via unique life experiences, and jointly they will use this to ensure that the essence of their connection remains intact, fresh and instantly recognisable. Tolerance, patience, kindness and compassion flow freely in their marriage.

They compliment each other beautifully in every way, like chocolates and flowers, like the flower and the honey bee, and like raindrops on roses. Together they are the physical manifestation of grace, friendship, nurturing, protection and loveliness. They are warmed and nurtured by the potency of their combined energy, and a fixed feature in the landscape of their marriage is the constant flow of love.

To them, it's simple. Comforting and nurturing each other is their life's calling.

I'm going to end this with a repeat of that beautiful Apache blessing, because I think you'll agree it bears repeating, "...Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth for the other. Now there is no more loneliness, for each of you will be companion for the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. Go now to your dwelling place to begin the days of your life together. May your days together be good and long upon the earth..."