...Is Looking At The Reasons We Get Angry

Many dramatic results of the application of anger management techniques stem from the willingness to look beyond the anger and really get to grips with the root cause of the anger. In this article I’ll be asking you to take a step back and examine your anger with an independent eye.

Why do this? Because anger never stands alone. It is always a mask for something else. But what, you may be asking. How about fear or hurt or disappointment? How about an unspoken concern or an unexpressed episode of pain, or even an undissolved experience that terrified you? Maybe you don’t even remember the reason why you’re scared, or upset, because you’ve buried it so deep to avoid feeling the pain it brings with it. Anger management techniques are not only about what to do after the episode of anger. It also requires that we look at the reasons why we become angry.

Were you perhaps bullied, abandoned or rejected either as a child or in your adult life? Were you afraid to speak out or were you warned against speaking out? This may have weakened you, making you feel helpless and alone. As a result you may have developed a routine of becoming angry and hostile to boost yourself and feel that some degree of control has been regained.

Or maybe you’re just tired of holding everything together, and the weight of your burden has become too much for you. Perhaps you’re scared that if you stop juggling all those many roles, who will do it instead?

Do any of the suggestions resonate within you? Is there anything written here that makes you react strongly either positively or negatively?

In truth it could be just one thing that has made you react angrily, or it could be a combination of events end experiences. The decision to look deeper into the root cause of your anger is possibly one of the most courageous tasks you will undertake, and I applaud you wholeheartedly.

This is an important step in any set of anger management techniques. Even though there seem to be a lot of open questions here, and not many answers, remember always that the answers lie within you...I’m only giving you a possible road map. You decide the destination. Remember also that you’re always safe to explore your mind and your memories. The things that hurt you before cannot hurt you again. They are only memories. In doing this revisiting exercise, you regain control of your life in a wholesome and healthy way. This will hopefully result in the elimination of your painful emotions attached to those memories, and therefore the elimination of the angry reaction that you may be using to mask it. If you want to learn more about the root causes of anger, have a look at this anger management program designed with you in mind.

Disclaimer: Please note that this article is based on my own experience of successfully using this as an anger management technique. If you have any concerns or anxieties as a result of the contents of this article, then I recommend that you contact your doctor who will fully support you.

..Is Stretching!

Take a few moments today to consider how stretchy you are. And now go ahead and have little stretch...I mean really stretch...stretch your minds, your bodies and your hearts. I think these are 3 key stretches we should be doing every day.

1. THE MIND STRETCH

When we stretch our minds we always think that little bit bigger, countless brilliant ideas flow from that hidden fountain of knowledge held deep within us. Stretching our minds is exciting and it results in a renewed zest for life, boundless energy, burning ambition. In stretching our minds we attract endless opportunities to make something happen, sometimes out of nothing more than an idea. Some of the most amazing advances in this world have been made when inventors, doctors, scientists and business people have stretched their minds and ignored the boundaries, whether real or imagined. What brilliance can you achieve today by stretching your mind and thinking BIG?

2. THE BODY STRETCH When we stretch our bodies we stand a little bit taller our stomach goes in (yay!) & our shoulders broaden. We straighten up our backs and it feels just so great! It’s an instant boost to our confidence and self esteem rises one hundred-fold. You will even tend to smile more. What’s more, everyone you meet sees that there has been a shift in you, but no-one can quite put their finger on it. Standing tall is a physical stretch that really gets you noticed, with hardly any effort on your part. Try it now - go on...really stretch yourself!

3. THE SPIRITUAL STRETCH

And now the final stretch, and my personal favourite, the heart and soul stretch. When we stretch our hearts we are automatically a little bit kinder & more loving. And here’s the best part - everyone benefits! When we feel kindness, compassion and understanding for ourselves it radiates out from within us and it spreads like a ripple effect to everyone we meet. Those people then connect to your flow of positive loving energy, and pass it on in their daily interactions, resulting in the most beautiful flow of natural positive energy. With the spiritual stretch, our sense of gratitude is massively enhanced and this in turn pulls us in closer to our source energy. Be patient with this stretch. It’s not instantaneous, it’s a process. But it never fails to deliver perfectly beautiful results every time.

So now it’s up to you...how much do you want to stretch yourself today?

...Shares 5 Tips For Anger Management.

We all experience anger at some stage in our lives. Maybe it's even a daily occurrence for you. Either way, you've searched for this article because you want to learn how to control your anger. The anger management techniques I'm going to share with you really do work! Like you, I'm an ordinary person who just wanted to get a handle on things and not feel angry all the time. I'm not a psychologist, I'm in fact a lawyer, and in my lifetime I've had many difficult life experiences that have generated varying degrees of anger. Now I'm focused on getting to my happy place, just like millions of fellow human beings. 

So here goes:

1. WALK AWAY: This is one of the most powerful anger management techniques, and it does work. I'd also recommend that before you walk away, you tell the other person/people that you need to leave the room to calm down and you will be back to discuss the matter calmly. In doing this, your departure is not abrupt and won't create a new cause of tension.

2. TAKE A FEW DEEP BREATHS: There must be a biological reason why this works, because it really does. In yoga and meditation, breathing is used to co-ordinate the flow of energy and create a feeling of calm. Also taking deep breaths allows you to take more oxygen in this stimulates brain activity. In other words, it helps you to think straight.

3. BE AWARE OF THE WAY YOU SPEAK: All too often when we have completed steps 1 & 2, we immediately negate the beneficial effects of those two steps by telling ourselves things like " I'm so LIVID!" or "I'm STUNNED at what s/he just said!". This type of language will keep us trapped in the web of anger. The internal language we use is so crucial in anger management, and if we deliberately choose words that are going to calm us down then the benefits will be enormous. Instead try saying "I'm proud that I left the room, because now I know things will start to calm down." Or you could try saying "This too will pass", while you take your deep breaths.

4. KNOW THAT ANGER IS A MASK: Anger does not stand alone as an emotion, and anger management techniques are only one part of the solution. Anger is often a mask for unexpressed or suppressed fear, hurt, unhappiness or pain. Ask yourself why the situation you're in has created the angry reaction? What pain are you hiding? Is there an unmet need that you are afraid to express for fear of rejection? Identify what has caused the anger and you will then be able to deal with the root of the issue.

5. SAY "THIS TOO WILL PASS": This is a powerful anger management technique and it allows you to get past the immediate anger and look forward to a happier future. 

So there you have my 5 easy anger management techniques. I believe the purpose of life is to experience all of life, not to get stuck in one moment of it. We cannot pick only positive, fun experiences to have in our lives, we must take the rough with the smooth. So when the not-so-positive comes along, you'll be able to apply these 5 techniques and look forward to focussing on the good experiences. I've also got this great anger management program which will help you even more. 

...Meditates Her Cares Away!

I've been meditating for many years and I'd strongly recommend it, largely  because the benefits are so fantastic. 

At first I was a little bit reluctant to start because meditation just seemed terribly grown-up & complicated, so I put it off for a long time. But over the years I've devised a very simple method of meditating which cuts out the complications, and works for me,and now it's become one of the favourite parts of my day. 

Meditation leaves me feeling relaxed, balanced and centred, and able to cope with life's daily trials. So this is how I do it:

1. STEP ONE: Sit or lie down with your eyes closed in a comfortable place where you won't be disturbed. Turn off your phone, television and computer if possible. I usually meditate at the end of my day just before I go to sleep to ensure that I won't be disturbed. I start my meditation by mentally going through my day, and giving thanks for the blessings of my day and the opportunities that have come to me that day. Being grateful puts me in a receiving frame of mind, which is important as it allows a connection with the still, quiet spiritual voice within. Smile. Smiling is a fantastic way to begin your relaxation.

2. STEP TWO: When you are comfortable and relaxed, start to notice your breathing. Breathe in and out, counting on each exhale. Do this in batches of 20. When you get to 20, start again at 1. Do this as many times as you need to or want to. During this phase you may notice lots of thoughts popping into your head, and you may start to fidget. You may feel the urge to get up and check that you turned the iron off, or locked the front door, or even to check your bank accounts online. Don't worry if this happens. Just allow the thoughts to pop up, and let them pass. This is the mind resisting, because it wants to be in control. All you have to do is keep breathing gently and keep counting. If you lose count, it's ok -just start again from 1.

3. STEP THREE: By now you should be feeling relaxed, and calm. To start with you may not be able to meditate like this for longer than a few minutes, but with practise and discipline your meditation sessions will gradually get longer and longer. At this point, as you are lying with your eyes closed, you may wish to imagine a powerful shaft of white and gold light pouring into you through the top of your head, and spreading throughout your body, cleansing you as it flows through you, and out through your feet. As this light leaves your body through your feet, imagine that your worries, illnesses and negativities have been cleaned out and are leaving you permanently. Then the Universal Energy that surrounds all of us transmutes the negative energy back into positive energy, so that as you inhale, you breathe in positive, nourishing energy via the light that flows through you. 

4. STEP FOUR: If you fall asleep during your meditation, then that's fine. I find this is one of the best ways to fall asleep if I have a lot of tension or if I've had a particularly bad day, and upon awakening I always feel refreshed and relaxed. If you don't want to fall asleep, and instead wish to wake up after meditating, then do so slowly by gently moving your fingers and toes, but keep your eyes closed. Then make your breath a little deeper, and open your eyes. 

You should feel calm and centred and glowing with a sense of renewed purpose. Take that calmness with you into your day. If you want to take your relaxation further and explore it in more detail, then you will like this ultimate relaxation program. This stress busting program is great for anger management, relaxation, and shares 101 ways to live a stress free life. Who doesn't want that?

...Shares 5 Tips For A Happy Home.

We all want to be good parents, and we all want to have a happy family and harmony in our home life. When we have our children we want the best for them but we also want the parenting experience to be a fulfilling one for us. i believe that this can be achieved by making a few simple decisions with our partners from the start, perhaps even during the pregnancy. Doing this will set the tone for the parenting roles of Mum & Dad from day one. My aim here is to provide you with a few handy tips that will make the role of parenting an exciting one that fills you with enthusiasm and anticipation rather than with dread! These tips work with children of all ages, but they are best employed from an early age. 

1. RESPECT EACH OTHER. Our children's first classroom is the home. That is where they take their first lessons in life. If parents behave respectfully towards each other in the way they speak to each other behave to wards each other this gives children a fantastic start in so many ways. Not only do they feel happy and secure in themselves, growing up in a respectful household, but they will also learn the importance of respecting others. This is a life lesson that will stay with them throughout their lives. 

2. SET BOUNDARIES FOR YOUR CHILDREN. A child's natural instinct, whether they are 2 years old or 12 years old is to get what they want when they want it! They are not instinctively attuned towards delayed gratification. Whilst this is natural for them, it is a nightmare for parents! So if you put in a system of boundaries around controversial matters such as bedtime, acceptable behaviour at mealtimes, homework and study to name but a few, your child will benefit. If you do this when they are very young it removes the element of conflict and simply becomes a part of their normal daily routine.

3. STICK TO A ROUTINE WITH YOUNGSTERS. When children are young, they really benefit from having a daily routine that does not vary dramatically. This is important because it enhances their sense of security in their home life which is crucial. Additionally it allows them to grow and develop naturally without having the added concern of the scenery changing constantly at home, which can be a destabilising factor.

4. SUPPORT EACH OTHER It is vitally important that both of the parents buy into all decisions made around disciplining the children. If you do not do this then the children get mixed messages around what is expected of them behaviourally, and that confusion will lead to them misbehaving as a result. Make sure that you discuss any disciplinary measures together before imposing them on the children. 

5. EAT AT LEAST ONE MEAL EACH DAY TOGETHER AS A FAMILY. The hectic lifestyle of the average 21st century family can leave us with precious little time to relax together. This can lead to isolation from each other, and as our children grow up and develop interests outside the family home, with friends and school, the gap between parents and their children grows ever wider. This can be prevented if you make an effort to sit together for one meal, or more if that's possible, and eat together as a family. All the family will benefit, and most importantly one of the key positive effects for the children is a strong sense of belonging. Eating together around a table also encourages good table manners which they will take with them through life.

So there are my 5 simple steps to take the stress out of parenting. If you're feeling like you need a little more help lowering your stress levels, then try this relaxation program which might be just what you're looking for!