...Shares 5 Tips For Anger Management.

We all experience anger at some stage in our lives. Maybe it's even a daily occurrence for you. Either way, you've searched for this article because you want to learn how to control your anger. The anger management techniques I'm going to share with you really do work! Like you, I'm an ordinary person who just wanted to get a handle on things and not feel angry all the time. I'm not a psychologist, I'm in fact a lawyer, and in my lifetime I've had many difficult life experiences that have generated varying degrees of anger. Now I'm focused on getting to my happy place, just like millions of fellow human beings. 

So here goes:

1. WALK AWAY: This is one of the most powerful anger management techniques, and it does work. I'd also recommend that before you walk away, you tell the other person/people that you need to leave the room to calm down and you will be back to discuss the matter calmly. In doing this, your departure is not abrupt and won't create a new cause of tension.

2. TAKE A FEW DEEP BREATHS: There must be a biological reason why this works, because it really does. In yoga and meditation, breathing is used to co-ordinate the flow of energy and create a feeling of calm. Also taking deep breaths allows you to take more oxygen in this stimulates brain activity. In other words, it helps you to think straight.

3. BE AWARE OF THE WAY YOU SPEAK: All too often when we have completed steps 1 & 2, we immediately negate the beneficial effects of those two steps by telling ourselves things like " I'm so LIVID!" or "I'm STUNNED at what s/he just said!". This type of language will keep us trapped in the web of anger. The internal language we use is so crucial in anger management, and if we deliberately choose words that are going to calm us down then the benefits will be enormous. Instead try saying "I'm proud that I left the room, because now I know things will start to calm down." Or you could try saying "This too will pass", while you take your deep breaths.

4. KNOW THAT ANGER IS A MASK: Anger does not stand alone as an emotion, and anger management techniques are only one part of the solution. Anger is often a mask for unexpressed or suppressed fear, hurt, unhappiness or pain. Ask yourself why the situation you're in has created the angry reaction? What pain are you hiding? Is there an unmet need that you are afraid to express for fear of rejection? Identify what has caused the anger and you will then be able to deal with the root of the issue.

5. SAY "THIS TOO WILL PASS": This is a powerful anger management technique and it allows you to get past the immediate anger and look forward to a happier future. 

So there you have my 5 easy anger management techniques. I believe the purpose of life is to experience all of life, not to get stuck in one moment of it. We cannot pick only positive, fun experiences to have in our lives, we must take the rough with the smooth. So when the not-so-positive comes along, you'll be able to apply these 5 techniques and look forward to focussing on the good experiences. I've also got this great anger management program which will help you even more. 

...Shares Her Secret 4 Step Method For Letting Go Of Anger

So there you are, you’ve just had a row with your beloved/child/parent/flatmate and you’re sitting there absolutely fuming. You’ve got smoke coming out of your ears and you’re so livid that the vein in your forehead is pulsing so hard it literally might just pop out of your head. So you sit and plan their demise in the minutest of detail. Does this sound like you? Oh yes, we’ve all been there!

But hang on a minute…is this really how you want to feel? Burning up with all-consuming anger? You love this person, right? Well ok, maybe you don’t love them but you do at least like them don’t you? Well even if you don’t, you love yourself don’t you? More to the point you do know that letting go of this anger is healthy for you don’t you?

Ok so that’s our starting point. Letting go of the negativity. Here we go!

Firstly the all important disclaimer (and this one is really important)…if you are being abused in any way whether it’s mental or physical, or if the object of your anger is infringing your human rights in any way, or bullying you, then please contact the Authorities. They will help you.

So now let’s take a moment to review the situation before the letting-go process begins. Blazing row…hurt feelings…are we on the same page?

Step 1: The first secret is to take a few deep breaths. Sounds like an old cliché but it really does work. So go ahead and take a few deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. You’re feeling better already aren’t you? Well read on because there’s more and it gets better you’ll be glad to know.

Step 2: The next thing I do is I tell myself over and over again those 3 little magic words “…this will pass…” Why do I do that? Well simply because I know it does – everything always passes. I remind myself of the many times in the past when I’ve felt anger and it’s passed. This will pass. This will pass. This will pass.

Eventually I can truly feel the tension in my shoulders releasing and my clenched fists have become loosened. I’m breathing calmly and as for that vein in my head? All gone.

I’m still upset but I’m out of the red zone. Most importantly, I can feel the anger leaving my body.

Step 3:The next secret is to build on the good feelings that are slowly emerging. This is a crucial step that has a snowball effect in the letting-go process.

How shall we do this? One good way is to find a memory about that person which makes you feel good and makes you smile. Is there a time when you both did something together that you really enjoyed? Did he/she surprise you pleasantly? What connects you together in a fun and happy way? Write them down if you want to – sometimes this speeds up the letting-go process.

Next I will take a few moments to assess how I’m feeling. Remember I’m still saying over and over “this will pass”. By this stage I’m always feeling less livid and more light. Then I smile to myself as more good memories suddenly pop into my head like corn popping in a hot pan, as my mental filing system kicks into gear to help me out of this sticky moment and letting it go becomes all the more sweeter. As my list of good memories grows and grows I quickly realise that this process of letting go is much more creative and productive than holding on to the anger. By this stage of the process I’m actually having fun!

Step 4:The best step of all the steps is when it dawns on me that I’ve successfully let it go. The result I was aiming for all along has been achieved! I did it! That truth brings the biggest smile back to my face.

Be aware also that at any stage of the process you may feel like crying. This is really normal and it's important to let the tears flow. Crying is a release and it's always better out than in I say, so go ahead and grab a big box of tissues and let it out.

So there you have it, my simple plan for releasing anger. Oh I know I’ll revisit the argument, because let’s face it I’m a woman (relax ladies…men do it too!) but the success lies in the fact that I’ve taken the sting out of the situation. The argument may still need to be resolved, but the raw stinging emotion is gone. I’ve regained a sense of perspective and the disagreement has far less significance. I feel good about myself and ultimately this means that dealing with and resolving the issues that caused the row in the first place will be far less stressful.

And it’s all thanks to the fact that I used my 4 simple secrets to letting go of anger.