...Talks About Being A Muslim Woman In 21st Century Britain.

I'm extremely proud to call myself a Muslim and I'm proud to say my faith means a lot to me. I don't wear hijjab but I don't dress immodestly either, and I've never drunk alcohol or taken any recreational drugs of any sort. I only eat halal food and I only buy meat from halal butchers.

All of these standards are personal to and tailor-made for me and stem from my Islamic faith. 

I'd like to be able to say that because I live in England in 2010 it's easier for me to embrace my Islamic faith freely & devote more time to the beauty that is to be found in the fundamentals of Islamic teachings. England provides an environment that is far more tolerant towards women than most Islamic countries, but even so, I'm saddened at the realisation that I cannot wholeheartedly say that I'm totally relaxed about my Islamic heritage & living an Islamic life. 

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to live in the patriarchal setting of, say, Saudi Arabia where women cannot drive, have fewer rights than men in family matters, and are generally treated as second class citizens. In Afghanistan it is well documented that under Taliban rule, young girls were not allowed to be educated and even now the old regime still has a terrifying grip on social attitudes towards females in the community. For the women in those countries, living a strictly Islamic life is compulsory. It is simply not negotiable.

I am a proud mum of a teenage daughter and I'm well aware that her life has been relatively carefree and as a result she has carved a gleaming educational path for herself. This simply would not have been the case in Saudi, Afghanistan or Pakistan. At the same time I've taught her the tenets of her cultural heritage and she has the same respect for Islam that I do. 

The difficulty sometimes arises when we try to fit in to British culture. It's extremely difficult for us to hear the words muttered and uttered by racist minorities pertaining to "returning home". When the England football team is playing Italy or France, we are English and proud of it. When the British General Election results in a hung parliament, we debate the pros and cons for the benefit of the country as a whole from our standpoint as British citizens. We want to fit in here. This is our home, always has been and always will be.

Upon closer inspection however I guess the truth is I don't really fit in anywhere. My parents came to this country at a very young age (my mum at 8 and my dad at 17) hoping to make a better life for themselves. They did a marvellous job of it & I'm proud to say that they've never claimed social security benefits, have always worked and contributed to the economy. My father started his first business at the tender age of 22 when there was no Business Link, no business support groups or forums and certainly no networking organisations. He had been in England for a mere 4 years. 

I and all my siblings were born here in England and were all privately educated. I speak English better than my mother tongue, although I can get by in my mother tongue. I can cook practically anything (good Muslim girl) and I run a tight ship at home (good Muslim girl - home-maker being the Muslim woman's key role), but I'm a divorced single mum (bad Muslim girl). It has to be said that a lot of the judgements in brackets (although slightly tongue in cheek) come from the Muslim communities here in England. In the eyes of the wider British community however I'm an accomplished woman. 

Therefore (and I say this with a heavy heart) for me there is an underlying sense of nomadic lack of belonging. The irony is I don't fit in when I go back to my parent's mother country either. And even more ironic is that neither do they. There is an entire community of first generation immigrants from the Indian Sub-Continent who live not just in England, but around the world, and who carry with them an innate sense of disconnection, akin almost to living in another dimension. The customs and traditions they brought with them to their host countries no longer apply "back home" because things have moved on and developed in their homelands, and the same customs do not sit comfortably with established British cultural routines. So a unique enclave is created for the immigrants and their descendants, which is gradually diluted as amalgamation into the host country deepens generationally.

That amalgamation is a good thing in my opinion, and embracing and adopting other cultures and traditions will always bring benefits, particularly when accompanied by mutual respect, understanding, tolerance and acceptance. 

I am tremendously proud to call myself a Muslim especially in 2010 when there is so much negative propaganda surrounding Islam and it's teachings. 

Islam is a beautiful faith, which teaches love, tolerance and patience. It has been corrupted in part by misguided people who seek to use the power contained in prescribed religion to create terrible hardships and to control the masses. However, ultimately a false impression of the Islamic way of life is their one true lasting creation. 

I am also very happy that my parents settled here in England because the opportunities that have been afforded to me would simply not have been available had they opted to settle in Turkey or Saudi Arabia or even America. The task at hand for me and for many other Muslim women is to accept our differences with pride and to embrace the similarities. 

It is crucial that we be grateful for this amazing opportunity where we can freely choose to live as Muslim women in a secular, tolerant and democratic country rather than having an Islamic way of life being forced upon us.

Whilst writing this, I became so absorbed I forgot to put dinner on for the kids and forgot to do the laundry (bad muslim girl).

disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this article are personal to the writer and do not in any way represent the views of any group, community or nation. Please do not place any reliance on the contents of this article without doing your own independent research. 

...Takes A Day Off.

I'm a single mum of 2 and I'm also a solicitor, a business owner, I manage rental property and I have just started an online business. I'm what you might call busy. Like many other working mums I rarely get time to myself, but luckily I love all my jobs.

Despite my love of the various jobs and all the different hypothetical hats I get to wear on any given day, one of my true yearnings is to have one of those days when I can just stay at home and relax.

Well...hang on a minute....I'll relax on my day off subject to a few conditions, of course. The small print of "Mumtaz's Day Off" would read something like "I will stay at home provided..."

1. The children are at school (doesn't count if you're not a parent but please keep reading);
2. The dishes are washed;
3. The laundry is done;
4. The ironing is done;
5. The house is clean and tidy;
6. The pile of "I'll look at that later" post in the kitchen has been looked at;
7. The beds are made;
8. The bathroom(s) are clean;
9. The kitchen is clean;
10.The bills are all paid;
11.The dinner is planned & prepared if possible;
12. The car is clean;
13. The lawn is mowed;
14. The weeding is done;
15. The dishwasher has been emptied;
16. The breakfast dishes have been cleared away;
17. The grocery shopping is all done;
18. The dusting is done;
19. The kitchen floor has been mopped;
20. The plants are watered;
21. The shoes are polished;
22. The cereal from breakfast must be put away;
23. The breakfast table must be cleaned and wiped (when children sprinkle sugar on cereal why do they always sprinkle the floor and the table and their chair?)
24. Any bits of sewing (hems, buttons and curtains) is all up to date.
25. The errands are all done (did you pick up the dry cleaning?);
26. Those "I'll call them later" phone calls have all been made.

Wow. That's some day off isn't it?

On second thoughts maybe I'll just go into the office today. I guess I'll have to leave my manicure, pedicure, massage and facial for another day. Yes - I'm rolling my eyes along with you my dear reader.

The subtext of the long (and not exhaustive by any means) list above is that all around the country, in fact scratch that, all around the world women both with and without children (and a fair few of the fathers I daresay) heave a collective sigh of relief when they get to their desks at work, knowing that for the next few hours they can forget about the seemingly never-ending massive pile of chores, tasks and housework that awaits back home. At work, mums and dads get to delegate and share the load, we get to socialise or at least interact with other adults on subjects other than the school play or parent's evening or homework.

Perhaps most importantly, we get to feel appreciated for our efforts.

That's got to be easier than running a home surely?

Disclaimer: Please don't feel the need to tear strips off working parents as a result of reading this. This article is just for fun...everyone knows that households run themselves with no organisational input  required whatsoever.